i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
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