You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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