Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
