Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Randomize
