I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
