He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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