i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize