Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Randomize
