I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
worst night to have a conscience
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
