I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
