I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
