apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
