i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
you made out with another girl for some wings
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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