just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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