You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
where does the pee come out of this thing
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Randomize
