i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
