Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
