I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
