god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Mom said you looked used
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
