Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He? As in you personified your dick?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
