I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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