I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
