all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
it was like eating out sand paper
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
