i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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