I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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