Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
