Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
