i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
