So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
