Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
