UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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