walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
