It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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