Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Randomize
