Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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