Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Is Oprah even human
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize