i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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