I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
i believe in u and ur pee
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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