So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
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