5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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