alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
