Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize