I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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