Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
