She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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