I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
