we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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