Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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