You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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