So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
