I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
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I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
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I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize