...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
