We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
