Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
