That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Randomize