i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
