Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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